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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Moving

Oh God...

One entire Month of my vacation has already passed, and this is only my fourth post since the start of it O.o...

Well, I guess that I've been busy and all, but I've had so much planned for this summer, yet I've accomplished so little of it. But, as much as I would love to, I'm not here to whine and complain about my actually pretty enjoyable summer vacation. Thus, I'll try to actually stick to the subject...

I can tell that this isn't going to be one of those long (well, my long) and deep entries, so if you don't feel like reading a lot right now, you can relish that fact. As you can see, the title for this post is "Moving". If I would feel like writing something deep and intriguing, I can picture myself writing about "moving on" or something like that. However, that is not the case this time -_-
It just so happens that once again, I have moved from a house to another.


It's not like I'd have moved to another town or anything of such nature, just a bit closer to the centre of the city (more like to the center of the city, actually...).

I've actually moved quite an amount of times before. If I recall correctly, I've changed locations for a longer time period 6-7 times, depending on if you count a temporary place where we spent a few months or so waiting for another place to finish being built. 

But a thing that you have to bring to the equation though, is that my mom and dad don't live together, meaning that at any given time I will have two places to potentially move from (yeah, I'm still living with my parents, and I don't really have any good reasons to quit doing so in quite some time yet)... When I do though, does that mean that I'll move two times at once? Since I'll stop living in (aka. sleeping in, in this instance) two places at the same time? I guess not... After all, I'll just move to one new place...

Aside from that sidenote (bad wordplay, I'm tired you see)... This time, it was my dad that moved to a new place. I hadn't thought about it earlier, but funny thing is that the place we just moved from is the place where I had lived for the longest amount of time! Well, technically I only stayed there every second week, but I think my claim still holds (stands? I don't really care about phrasing it right right now...).

What surprised me is how small a thing I perceived the moving as... almost... casual.

I've known about it for a long time of course, but it still came so suddenly (It sounds like I'm describing the death of a cancer patient, doesn't it?). One week, we just moved, and that was that. I didn't really have any positive or negative feelings surrounding it. It just happened. The place I moved from was nice, and the place I moved to is nice. Of course, the distance to some places will be longer now, and shorter to others.

For instance, it'll now only take two minutes or so to walk between my mom and my dad, and the distance to school (whenever it comes back to haunt me) is a lot shorter as well. But the distances to some of my friends are longer... Shouldn't matter for too long though... I should get my drivers license before the start of school so...



Anyway, I could talk about how we moved different stuff and how the new house is and such things, but I'll show you some pictures instead since the other option sounds kinda boring to me...















Well, I can't say I did a good job of optimizing this picture, but I cropped it a bit so that it doesn't look completely horrible. The lighting when taking this picture with my phone should have been done so much better though...

It's not my best drawing... Something I made in school at art class (don't get me wrong, I'm not good at drawing, but even I can see the flaws in this one... Not that I tried making it realistic or anything... You can tell that I'm tired by that I'm speaking like this btw... I don't even know why I'm tired... Meh...)

This drawing was made quite some time ago. We were supposed to photograph someplace in Vasa, that we didn't think looked good, and change it into something nicer. Well, here's the picture that I changed.



Well, you can still kinda see that It's the same place. The thing is though... This just so happens to be the very same place that I moved into a couple of days ago... It can be funny how things unfold sometimes.


This is taken from a different angle, but the house is pretty much complete now.


So yeah, It looks much better than in the picture above the above picture.

Another funny thing... You know my name is Alexander right? Well, guess what the name of the street that the house is located on is... It's Alexander's Alley... So after some years I can go convincing everyone that the "alley" (it doesn't really look like your typical alleyway but...) is named after me. I could say that like... There was a lottery among the people that moved into the newly built building (it takes up the entire alley, so...). The point of the lottery was naturally to see whom to name the alley after. And I could simply say that I happened to win. And believe me (I've got experience), quite many people would believe me, or at least be unsure of whether I'm telling the truth or not.





Well, this post isn't really going anywhere, So I'll show a couple (double it) more pictures and end it there.



Here are two pictures from how it looked in my (old) room some days ago...






I don't think that you necessarily have any real interest of seeing these pictures, but I find pictures pleasing to watch. If nothing else, see them as a short, pleasant brake from reading my tired writings.



Now: Two pictures from my (new) room!
I've actually made some improvements since taking the photos, but oh well.





Yupp. These are quite fascinating pictures of the habitat of a random teenager from Finland. A must see for everyone!








No but seriously... I should stop. 

These pictures can compensate for the lack of music in this post. I've naturally made a few smaller compositions, but nothing complete or long... I think I'll have one or more for next time though :D
(I've got a few weird ideas). I'm also trying to re-learn this: Those Who Fight

Actually I've only got like half a minute left, and I think that I can play it better than ever now! I think that this is the most difficult piece that I actually can play...



Anyway...






Keep on having good times!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Strange Things can Happen to Avarage People...



Ok, so I'm a bit unsure about how to write this post, let's just say that it won't turn out like my posts usually do...

You see, yesterday, I experienced what was probably the weirdest thing in my life so far, and it might stay that way for a long time. I'm going to tell you what happened, and it's quite something actually, I mean, it still feels unreal today, not to talk about when I actually lived through it. The story might start a little slow, but you need to grasp the context to really realize how weird it was. Hear me out, I'm quite sure that you'll be intrigued by what I'm about to tell you...


So, as you might know, I live in this somewhat small (compared to places in other countries) town named Vasa, located in Finland. I'm currently trying to get my drivers license, and yesterday I was driving around the centre of the city, with my teacher beside me of course. This isn't when things started getting weird, but after my lesson, I stayed in the centrum for a while. Or rather, that's what I planned to do, however I ended up staying there for much longer than I had intended to do. One could say I ended up meeting someone... a bit different.

As you might also know, I have a sweet tooth. After my lesson in driving, I went to this shop next to the, well, plaza, i guess you could say. It doesn't really matter, but the store is named Citymarket. So after I had bought some candy for myself (Lumi Pantteri, I love those), I exited the store like I normally would.

I hadn't really paid any attention to it earlier, but the marketplace was unusually empty this day. This was probably because it was around 2 o'clock, and not everyone is on vacation yet. Now is when things began getting weirder and unusual, for me.

We still have quite an amount of, well, beggars, in Vasa. Usually I don't have much contact with them, except for maybe giving them a coin or two. However, as I walked out of the store, holding my bag of candy, I heard a voice right next to me. It took me a moment to realize that what the voice said was directed to me. You understand, in the centre of Vasa, as in many other cities, there are a few regular drunkards that usually shout at everyone whom comes close to them, I'm sure you've experienced this as well.

The thing is, the man that told me "Hei, tuus tänne vähä!" (A call for me to approach the person) didn't actually sound that drunk at all. Usually I just ignore these people, but I was in a weird mindset at the moment, and surprising even myself I actually went closer to the man. Just as you could forsee, this man wanted me to give him some money. If I surprised myself earlier, that was nothing compared to what I did now!

Since I for once had a bit of free time, I had this interesting idea cross my mind. I thought that if I gave the man some money he would probably just spend it on alcohol anyway, which I thought would be quite the waste of my money. Not only that, but I don't really get that good a feeling after giving seemingly homeless people money anyway; I like to experience the results of what I do. So as I said, I surprised myself by saying something along the lines with:

"No, I will not give you any of my money, but if you want to, I'll gladly buy you a meal".
Can you imagine me actually doing this? I know I can be spontaneous, but I didn't expect to do something like that.

Anyway, I wasn't the only person to be surprised by this, for so was the man that was asking me for money. Well, I usually suck at remembering details, but I'll give you some kind of a description of the man. He had one of these leather jackets, and it wasn't that torn actually. He didn't wear any gloves, but since it was a bit odd I remeber that he had a sort of hat on his head that most people only wear during winter, and even though the wind might have been blowing a little (I can't recall for sure), I know that it was not cold. Aside from that he was probably in his late forties, and had some silver-grayish hair that barely showed itself from underneath his headwear.

But after a couple of seconds of awkward staring the man said that he'd happily take me up on my offer, but still maintaining that surprised stare he asked where I would bring him to buy food. I had no intention of actually bringing the man to my actual home, and semi chocked from my own actions I just threw "In McDonald's" out of me. You see, there's a McDonald's basically next to where we were, which isn't that surprising considering it's one of the easiest places to lure customers.

So I keep calling this homeless person "the man", but I actually got to know his name (we'll get to that in time), but I don't feel right telling his real name here, so let's just call him "Markko" for now (still keeping a Finnish name, naturally).

As awkward as it was, I walked next to him all the way to our destination. Luckily there were no people that I knew that happened to cross paths with us right then. There was practically no waiting line by the counter, so I told Markko that he could order whatever he wanted, provided the cost would stay below 10 €. He didn't seem like he intended to complain about that. He ended up ordering a Big Mac, large fries, a coke and a McFlurry.


We sat down by an empty table in the corner of the "restaurant". Markko ate like he hadn't eaten for days, and for a while it almost looked like he was about to cry from joy, which I remember made me feel a bit weird inside. I'm not used to doing anything like this, so everything felt a bit unreal for me, but it was about to get even stranger.

When Markko had finished gulping down everything (I had myself ordered a strawberry milkshake to drink while waiting for him to finish eating, and when I had finished drinking that up, I began eating some of my lumi pantteri), including his McFlurry, I was about to leave. However, when the weird man noticed this, he asked me not to go yet. He said that he was extremely grateful, and that he never imagined that someone my age would be so responsible as to do something like this (he probably thought that I was younger than I am, since quite many adults seem to do so).

He didn't want me to leave just yet, since he had one last favor to ask. He said that I was free to go if I wanted to, but he said that he would be very happy to tell me his story, since he hadn't had a real discussion with anyone for a long time. I felt at unease, but I didn't feel like betraying the mans expectations after going this far.


He ended up telling me his name, but I'll continue to call him Markko. He told me a few things about his childhood, and I don't know if I imagined it, since I'm not necessarily that good at reading people, but it seemed like a certain glow was awakend in Markkos eyes as he talked about his past. Yet, after only a few minutes of me doing nothing but listening to him, his expression darkened.


He began talking about his youth. He didn't tell me exactly how old he was then, nor how old he is now, but because of the way he spoke I'd guess that he was around 15-16 when something very dark happened in his life. Although he was underaged, he and his few friends quite often did some dringking, which is nothing unusual I guess. But Markko told me that he had together with his comrades found a completely abandoned house; an old treehouse. I don't know exactly where this house of his is (or possibly was) located, but he said that he together with his friends began calling it "känni kämppä" (a place to get drunk basically).

It had apparently been possible to climb in through one of the windows that were no more. I don't really see the point in it, but Markko said that they sometimes used to go inside of the house just to drink and spend some time together (well, of course I see the point, just not why they would have to do all this inside of the abandoned house). If I understood correctly, all this took place sometime in the middle of the eighties.


Anyway, Markko's story went on to describe how he had been together with this girl for quite a while. But sadly, he had somehow found out that she had been cheating on him (yes, it does really happen, which I'm sure you already were aware of).

I'm not sure about the details, but the thing is, Markko did despite his age get hold of quite an amount of beer. And during the night that he realized what his girlfriend had done, he drank it up, alone, somewhere in the city. You might be able to imagine how I began to feel while he was telling this story. A hint: not that good... I had at this point almost unconsciously eaten up half om the candy that I had bought.


Markko said that for some reason it had crossed his mind to go to the abandoned house he had mentioned earlier. I don't know whterher Markko is a good storyteller or not, the details got a bit messed up, but I'll tell you that I was listening as intensly as ever. Markko had probably been speaking nonstop for about half an hour already!

Markko had arrived at his intended location, even though he was kind of drunk. He told me that he could recall having trouble getting in via the window, in the state that he was, but he had eventually succeded. Now we are getting to the really freaky part, and I'm serious about this. I'm not even sure if I should tell this, but I've explained this far so...


The still young, drunk, Markko had ventured into a room in the house where he hadn't been before. At this point I was becoming sceptic of this story, and my heart was beating double it's normal speed all the time while Markko was telling me this. You see, he said that he had found a cellar-plate under one of the carpets in the room (I have no idea why he was looking under the carpet to begin with). I could feel that the atmosphere around me and Markko was becoming a bit tense, and I'm surprised no one else in McDonald's seemed to pay any attention to us.



Anyhow, Markko continued his story by telling me how he had opened the cellar entrance, that hadn't been locked in any way. He told me that there had been some steep, half rotten stairs leading down into the cellar, and drunk as he was, he had fallen while trying to climb down.


He hadn't hurt himself that badly, but he said that even in his drunken state of mind he began to get slightly scared, and he told me that he had been able to smell some kind of a rotten stench. There had been but one, small window allowing for a bit of light from the outside to enter (this must have taken place during summer, since I don't think Markko would've been able to see anything at all otherwise). Now, this is the really bad part of the story, and I'm still not sure whether Markko was trying to fool me, gullable as I might be...


Markko had been itching his eye (in the past, not in MC), and he was surpised to notice that there was some kind of a liquid that stuck from his hand to his face. He realized that it was blood, and at frist he had thought that it had been his own, from the fall. I'm guessing Markko had begun becoming a bit clearer in his thoughts, but you never know.


As I said, he only thought that it was his own blood, but he could see that he had no wounds on his hands, or anywhere else for the matter.

Well, there was the stench, the blood, and other things that seemed odd. Scared as he was, Markko had still decided to investigate, so he had explored the cellar a bit, and as far as I could understand, It wasn't that big.
That's why it didn't take long before he found the source of the blood.

For drammatic effect, I'll ask you to scroll down for the shocking revalation...









































































Nah... I'm just messing with ya'll.

I made this entire story up.













I don't know... I'm not necessarily that good a storyteller. I just thought it might be funny to write this kind of a pointless blog entry for once, especially since I talked about lying in my previous post. Originally I actually intended to exaggerate the story even more, about how the never existing "Markko" found some corpse or something, and how he buried it out of fear of other people believeing that he was the culprit behind the obvious murder case. Then he would go on to get depressed and having traumas, always living with this secret, kept inside his mind, that would be responsible for messing up his life. He would fail in work life, and be unable to sleep at night, ultimately leading to his nowaday state. Meh...

But I'm waaaay to tired to do that right now... And at some point people would realize that I am but bullshitting, as you might've done at some point already. Mind telling me, was the story convincing otherwise?
It's hard to give feedback to oneself.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Lying



Hello world!

Welcome to my very first blog post!

Except that's a lie...
Which could be an interesting subject; lying.



I mean, everybody lies, right?
Not always, but every now and then.


The reasons might be various, but from time to time, everyone lies, whether consciously or not. Well, some people don't count it as lying if one thinks oneself to be telling the truth, when actually saying something that is untrue.

An online definition of Lying: "a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood".

The definitions are many, but pretty much every person grasps the concept of lying anyway.

Now, why do people lie? When was the last time you lied yourself?

I don't lie that often actually. Every once in a while I throw in small lies to save my ass from trouble, or actually, I quite often find myself telling short lies only to avoid telling long boring stories about something unimportant. I actually can't come up with any examples off the top of my head, but you might be able to realte.


Many lies can arise due to secrecy. Trying to keep a secret of your own, or why not someone else's secret, can often lead to lying, or so I find.

I don't really have that many secrets myself, since I don't really see the point of that, but naturally, there are a few things I concider private, and I feel that it often can be justified to lie if that's seemingly the only way to keep what's private private. This is especially true if something is not only concerning me.

Just like you'd handle your friends' toys with care, so should you do with information that is supposed to be kept between you and them.


Anyway, I intended to go thorugh a few different ways to lie, like only bending the truth for example, but out of curiosity I checked google, and I already found a wikihow on this that is written far better than i could do.



I kinda like the saying that goes "a liar needs a good memory", since it is often true. Either that or everyone else's memory needs to be bad...


It's kinda funny how the most social people are often the ones that are best at lying. Or rather, the people with high empathy levels are usually better at lying than people that don't really understand other people. Unless of course, we're talking about a sociopath. They might be good at lying, on a logical level. Another thing is that sociopaths don't tend to feel like they have done something morally wrong after deceiving, which I guess makes it easier. Still, I think they can sometimes overlook important things when trying to lie, since they don't really understand the people they are lying to. Still, don't take my word for this. I have neither first nor second hand experience of lying sociopaths. I just imagine the way they could be, based on books and movies intended for entertainment, general psychology and logic.


I concider myself quite skilled at the art of lying, since I have almost never been proven wrong, but I believe most people are at least somewhat good at lying if they only put their mind into it. Are you good at lying?


But as I said, I don't really lie that often, depending on what you're prepared to count as a lie. This is since I'm not really afraid of showing different sides myself to others, to a large extent at least. But I seldom find white lies ethically wrong, even if they only benefit you, provided that the lies cause no harm to others.

Not all lies are games of deception.
I'm sure you've often heard exaggerated stories told by your friends. Sometimes they can be almost entirely made up for the sake of humor, or something else that is entertaining. I guess good liars are great storytellers.



There is actually a type of lying that I almost despice though, since it tends to make people stupid(er).

That is lying to yourself. (It's not always that bad. Sometimes people unknowingly hide memories of lets say traumatizing events that have happened to them, in order to keep themselves sane. What I mean is people who tend to lie to themselves for seemingly no reason).


I don't really get why some people seem not to be honest even to themselves... I mean, I get why you would want to deceive others, but why deceive yourself?

Actually, I do get that, I simply try not to do it myself.

There are two major reasons, I'd say, that are responsible for why people might sometimes lie to themselves. The first one is not being open to oneself, or ones flaws, in order to maintain a more positive self-image. I don't really do this anymore, but in my younger years, I often caught myself doing this. Sometimes it included making up excuses to justify ones actions.
The other reason is that facing the truth often leads to responsibility, and a search for a solution. I for one often try to search for a solution before the real problem even emerges, but that's not always possible. In that case I often try to solve problems instead of ignoring them. This is because I hate stress. I hate feeling like there is something that I should do, something that I really shouldn't ignore. And since I don't like that feeling, I get motivated to go through though times to avoid even rougher ones later. Sometimes I find myself doing the opposite though... How about you? It can be diffcult to do "the right thing" (if such a thing exists) sometimes, can it not?


Ultimately, there are quite many situations where (when?) lies might come in handy. But you should really know when NOT to lie. Not because lying would be ethically or morally wrong or anything, but because sometimes it just doesn't pay off. There would be much fewer trust issues if people wouldn't find it so difficult to tell the truth somethimes.


Mind telling me, Do you have any funny stories that include lying?








Anyway, I don't know if anyone of you really care, but I do, so I'm sorry for not writing in 10 DAYS, even if it's summer.

But, I've actually been in a cabin/villa (whatever you call them where you live, they are quite unusual outside of Scandinavia, or so I've heard) with some of my friends for about five days, so...


I actually intended to make a post before I went on my mini-vacation from everything stress related, but that didn't end up happening.

I did however prepare a song to post more than a week ago, so you'll get to listen to it after a short introduction (I'm sure you're sooo exited =P).


When I make an orchestration of a song that I've made, or even if I make it from scratch, I usually end up just throwing a few instruments that are somewhat randomly played together. It might sound good and all, but at least I can hear that doing things this way often results in a lack of structure.

So for once I actually tried organizing a short composition, giving the intruments certain melodies, rythms and volume levels. It's nothing John Williamsy or Hans Zimmery, but I find the end result relaxing to listen to. I'd be glad to hear what you think!

Emptiness






I think that will be all for tonights post. I intended to write it better, but the train of thought that inspired me to write this entry has disappeard to who knows where. This scripture might have turned out readable anyway, I'm just saying I meant to write it differently.


Have a good whatever!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Friendship



I don't intend to define friendship in this post, as most of you hopefully already have a somewhat clear idea of what it is. Otherwise wikipedia had a surprisingly okay analysis of it.

I rarely find writing an entry as challenging as I do right now, but I'll try to make sense...


To me, the concept of friendship in general can be both among the most easy things in the universe to comprehend, but at the same time one of the most difficult things to understand fully, at least on a deeper level.


When I look back, I realize that when I was but a very small child, I didn't really have many friends (we're talking like 0-2 years old). I had my sister, my parents, my grandparents and relatives, as well as a few actual "friends", mostly the children of my parents' friends.

But since I at the time was so young, there isn't much at all that I remember from the time. And as far as I know, I wasn't unhappy because of my lack of real friends. I hadn't yet developed a need for actual friendships. After all, a "friend" is just a label, a term used for one kind of a social contact. Just like a parent, a brother, a cousin or even a lover, but a little different. At the time I wasn't in any way searching for just that kind of a relationship between me and anyone.

However, as I grew older, going through different stages of my life, I eventually made some friends. One of the first places where I really began to grasp what a friend is, was at daycare (kindergarten).

A friend was someone to do activities with, play with, perhaps share a toy with; bond with. And for some reason, that kind of a social connection felt good, it was a welcome new part of my life. One could already at this age notice that there are different types of friends, and that people differ from eachoter in various ways.

I naturally had some friends that I knew better than others, and eventually I for the first time began inviting friends to my home, at least the ones I knew best. This was a whole new thing for me, and it might have been for many of you. What I know is that the people whose homes I occasionally visited, are among my best friends to this day still. That new thing of actually being with eachother even after daycare is over often indicates something special and much more lasting.


All that, was of course long ago now. I've made and lost quite a few friends during all the past years. That, or the level of friendship has changed between me and some people, but that's besides the point.

At least I have noticed that I perceive friends and friendship in a completely different way than I did when I was much younger. It seems that the older I get, the more complicated the concept of friendship becomes, but I'm not sure that I can really explain what I mean.

If nothing else, the way that I view the world has matured and changed quite a bit from when I was merely a child. I have begun seeing things where I saw nothing before, finding new puzzle-pieces to something that I already thought was compleated. As my perspective has changed, so has the way I view friendship.


Why do people wan't friends in the first place? Some people don't have friends, some people don't even want friends, or so they claim. I for one could never manage without knowing that whenever I fall down there'll be someone there for me, someone to make sure I don't simply have to try enjoying The Company of Myself.


Friends can both cause harm, but also heal your wounds. When your friend is hurt, so is a little part of you. Social connections are necessary for the species' survival.

That is also a huge part of what groups of frieds are. Social connections.

I myself have through my life "belonged" to many groups. That could be a sports team, your class, a band or simply a group of friends.

I have for a long time now felt quite at ease with moving from a group to another (I don't mean like switching ideology, but litterally walking from one group of friends to another, only to soon switch groups again or return to the initial one). However, I know some people that are always sitting with the one and same party, people who seldom try talking with anyone except for the "members" of that particular fellowship.


I don't know how many of you ever think along these lines, but sometimes I find it intriguing the way it often seems like the people in these groups often have different social statuses and/or roles. The whole thing works quite similarly to the way things often work in a pack of wolves, except possibly in slightly more complicated ways, and sometimes who belongs to what role can be difficult to see clearly. Some people even seem to differ between roles. Of course, I might be over-analysing things. Do not get me wrong. I don't usually go around thinking about all these things. My main objective every day is usually to have as much fun as possible (with some boundaries) and possibly to do something productive, like writing in my not so often read blog for example.


Still, every now and then these thoughts pop up in my head, and I'm entirely sure that I'm not the only one. Things become interesting when people from two different "packs" of friends come together. One with the "highest social status" (damn these designations sound awkward) in one group can often be the one with the lowest in another. Mixing people from different groups together often results in something amusing, and what it also often results in... Is new friends.


It would be fun to write about some of the different types of friends there are, but I won't bore you with that, since I'm sure you already have a somewhat clear understanding of that already. And writing about that would take enormous amounts of space and time. After all, every relationship is different from another.


Yet, the reason for which I'm writing about all these things is because yet another major change in life is closing in on the people of my age group.

Ever since I was seven years, I've constantly been going to this one wierd place called "school". But to me, the education has only been half of what school is for. To a very large extent, I've simply enjoyed the company of others. In a way, it can be a bit strange to comprehend that several hundred people are in a building such as a school at the same time.

Whether you want to or not, you're practically forced to spend lots of time with other people during huge amounts of time almost every day. A huge part of my friends have been made because of this. I wouldn't have had all too much social contact in my life unless I would have been forced to, which I actually think is a good thing, for most people at least, not to point a finger at introverts. I can relate to that as well.


Anyway, after a year, it will be summer again. The difference to this summer is that I will by then (hopefully) have completed my matriculation exam, as will most other people my age have.

After that, life will once again take another turn around. Some things will be like normal, but other things will change entirely.

One thing that bothers me some, is that friends will yet again change a bit. Some people will move abroad, some will work in other towns, some will continue to study. Only the friends you know the best will remain mostly the same.

Of course, there's still conscription in my country, and since most of my (male) friends from school are going to the same place, there's still some time before I'll have to begin focusing on what I want to do with my life and what I want to achieve, but adulthood creeps closer every second, and I'm not sure I fully like it, since I'm so happy right now.

Studies show that as people grow older they develop less friendhips, as they have to focus time and energy into work and family. At work they develop more acquaintances than friends, and there is often more rivalry involved. Luckily, the internet exists, so maybe coming generations can eventually make a change to this.


Again, I have succeeded in writing a monster with an almost intangible message. If you've read this far and you havn't really understood what I'm trying to say, do not fret, since I don't think that most people really would've. This is what happens when I don't give any thought to structure, and when I don't plan that much on beforehand; I just let the writing flow...

There is so much more I would like to say, but since I feel I couldn't get it into any comprehensible form to/day -night, I might as well leave it be, for now at least.








For almost two weaks I wasn't able to compose anything remotely good sounding. However, I randomly made a quite okay piece a couple of days ago.

It's actually supposed to be accompanied by an orchestra, but I'm currently working on that. Still, the composition isn't so good that I'll devote too much time to that either, but I'll throw something together...

I should really go buy myself a good new computer, and a good sound editing program like Logic or something. Then I might actually feel like writing and arranging some real good sounding music...


Anyhow, you can listen to the basic piano version here.

Heightened Hope (yourlisten.com)



It came out like something that could belong in a movie, were it only arranged better. This is since it describes a certain mood/mindset, or possibly many. Everyone interprets these things differently anyway...

The piece exists more for describing a feeling than it does for the melody. Still, as much movie music does, this composition resembles others to some extent.




If you don't agree with something that I have written, if you simply cannot figure out what I'm trying to say, or if you have any other feedback, feel free to comment about it. I noticed that since I created this blog you havn't been able to comment anonymously, but I've fixed that now (I think).







I hope that you all have an enjoyable summer!