Sunday, October 26, 2014
So... Yet another waypoint has been reached.
Now I only have less than one third of my service in the Finnish military left. However, it is like to be the toughest time period of them all. A long march lies a head of me (literally, which at some point includes the crossing of ice cold water while carrying all the equipment), an endless amount of freezing nights in the woods, and endless waiting for it all to end.
You know something is wrong when you're counting the days you have left, not the ones that have passed. Well, not always. If we look forward to something, we tend to keep more track of the time. Take Christmas calendars for example.
However... I'm counting the days I have left until I get rid of something, which is completely different, and the agony seems to increase with every day tat passes :/
On the other hand, I'm getting more used to the conditions I'm living in, and since we're doing practically the same stuff day in and day out, the time seems to be running fast, though the days are slow. As there are not many specific occurances to remember, all days seem to blend in with each other as one long nightmare. It's a bit like the autopilot; you don't remember every single time you've walked to school; the way is almost always the same, and once you've walked it a hundred times, you can't tell the times apart. Even while you're walking you don't really pay attention to the road at all. Myabe you'll suddenly notice that you've walked for ten minutes, without ever realizing where the time went. That's because of the autopilot.
I really hope my autopilot will take over most of my long march for me...
Speaking of school... Ever had any one ask you: "How was your day in school?"
Well, you've most probably answered something along the lines of "good", or "just like all the other days in school; it's always a day in school". There's not always that much to separate the days...
Same goes for the army. When I get home for an occasional vacation, people tend to ask: "How was your week in the army?"
I get that people ask that; it's really just human psychology to do so, as you don't always have much else to say. Well, I can tell you that my replies are pretty boring too. "It was just like all the other weeks in the army, maybe a tad worse".
It's a bit tiring not having much else to talk abaout (or blog about, ofr that matter), than the army. Even when I'm home, people call me the soldier every now and then, and most everything seems to revolve around me being away doing service. Tiring indeed...
That's why I'm counting down the days, waiting for it all to end. I'm walking around pretty much in zombie-mode all the time at the moment, at least when I'm not home. There's not much in the very near future to look forward to, and you've got too much work to do to think about anything at all really. My memory has in several ways gotten worse, the latest 100 days or so, actually.
I'm waiting to return back to my life as it used to be, before I was drafted. I think I'll be able to return to pretty much the exact same place as before, both physically and mentally. I don't feel like I've developed that much in the army at all. We learn not many useful skills, I can assure you. Unless it's considered useful lying awake in a hole in the ground for several hours during the middle of the night, almost every night.
It'll be great to get back after it's all done, and I have a several months long vacation waiting for me too!!
Ayhow... I'll just have to push through the final bit now,
Wish me luck!
I'm sure that I'll need it.
Here's a piece I made sometime in 2012, although the recording is from tonight.
I'll post the Cover Art just for fun as well :)
That should be all for now. Let's see if I will have enough energy to return to this blog next month. My next blog should by all rights be the last blog I write while still in the army, so I sure look forward to writing it ;)
Have a good one, or two (or three) :p