What a weird year it has been, no?
Celebrities dying right and left, governments turing conservative, not to speak of elections and weird social movements.
I seem to have kept my promise of not writing as many blog posts this year, nor force myself to do things that I don't really feel like doing, and especially, not to give into the feeling that I have to achieve a certain number of things/uploads, etc. this year. Or well, at least I toned it down a bit. Now that I'm actually facing the end of the year I find that, depsite my fever (one always tends to get sick right in time for the Holidays, huh?), I've worked quite feverishly to finish up a few things right in time, including writing this very blog post. Luckily, it would seem that my bad puns are still around to stay.
So yeah, perhaps nothing much has really changed after all. I've been tremendously more busy with studies than I remember ever being in my life, I suppose. That's another reason as to why I've been less active online. I've also had the honor of meeting many wonderful people from different parts of the world, and conversing with them through the power of Skype. A couple of them are actually visiting me in Finland at this very moment!
I've been thinking though, is it really good to allow oneself too much free time? Perhaps it's sometimes necessary to make up weird sorts of motivation, to work on at least personal projects. It seems like I'm most likely to 'find inspiration', when instead I should be working on an assignment (or a hundred) for school (which in this instance, I should say, is actually 'University').
This is not really a huge issue though, since I've got plenty done, either way. I tend to find inspiration, along with motivation, without even trying much.
That said, I've once again tried to figure out what I really want out of my life. Our lives, though at times seemingly long, are also quite short, and we don't get many chances to make the right choices, so to speak. While I do enjoy teaching, should I try 'the music thing' instead? And in that case, how should I go about doing it?
I have also been pondering applying for an exchange student program, in order to see how well I can make it somewhere else, and to the most part on my own. While I do have all the basic skills necessarily for getting through life, I have no real experience living on my own for longer amounts of time, paying taxes, and so on.
The biggest issue, is that I absolutely hate bureaucracy, sending emails, making phone calls, sorting complex things out, and what not. That is where I'd really need to be forced into situations, where I have no choice but to deal with all the increasingly annoying aspects of life.
Life certainly doesn't get easier with age, whereas responsibility increases, along with the excpectations of those surrounding oneself.
So what do I really want to do? That is something which still remains to be seen. I don't have the time to go into all possible options, nor do I think they'd interest you all that much. I just don't want to sit entirely complacent, while studying for an occupation in which I'll certainly be hired, at least somewhere (even though I certainly could get my fair share of enjoyment from that job as well). I have a creative side which needs expression, that much is for certain.
Apart from future occupations, I kind of want to make sure I live my life in general, in a way which I won't come to regret later, which requires more decision-making than I'm used to. As in, what is it I really want to achieve, and how do I get there, and is it worth even trying? Etc.
Other thoughts that have crossed my mind are revolved around health, death, love and friendship. You know, the usual stuff. I'm sure it's far from uncommon to think about these things, among many others.
Cooking food is something I've also been inspired to do more often, along with at least trying to sing a little bit now and then, regardless of my talents or lack of them, in those particular areas. This year has been more full of thought than any other I can recall, I suppose. At least in terms of the future. I suppose there was almost some sort off wall in front of me, before the army was over, where I figured I'd take things one step at a time. Whereas now, life is more like a chessboard, where I always want to stay several steps ahead, but the opponent keeps catching me by surprise, and pulling moves I never even could've expected.
Well, perhaps that was a bit overly dramatic. Then again, life isn't quite as interesting without any drama at all.
In general, despite being temporarily (hopefully) sick and having lots of ponderings in my head, I am doing quite well. Despite all the shite 2016 has thrown at us, there is no reason to not look ahead, and try to fight our way to a brigther and more hopeful future (there comes the dramatism again)!
In 2017, I suppose I'll try to focus a lot on what I want to do as well, and be quite sure that I do something! Chances are I'll be collaborating with other people, quite a lot.
This post seems to be another one of those occasional entries, where I sum up what's happened, lately, because I've failed to do so earlier. So it might be a bit disjointed, leaving us without a clear image of what'll happen with all this in the future. Kind of like this year, amirite?
But that's probably the best way to end it too.
Seems like time is up.
As you may have seem in an earlier post, I started a youtube channel this year. It's not much, but I've gained about 100 subscribers since. In time for the end of the year, I finished one of my best compositions, summing up many of my feelings and thoughts of the year, in just one, long, composition. So it seems I'll leave the year with that, and you as well (for now). Happy New Year!
I think that's all.
See you next year!